Happiness is your Wolf Pack!

My husband and I are determined to live a purposeful life. It’s self-empowering when you take responsibility for your life events rather than look to others to complete you, fulfill you or make decisions for you. Similarly, when you resort to blaming others for what is happening in your life, it should tell you that you have put your personal power in the hands of others. We can learn a lot from the wolf pack behavior.

I’m grateful when I hear the haunting songs of wolves at night or early in the morning. They sing loudly enough that we can hear them over the tv or background noise within the farm house. The wolves raise their powerful voices singing joyously to the Moon. I’m more apt to hear the optimistic yipping and yapping of the curious coyotes who lounge around frequently in our fields. Both species bring me that Moment of Joy when I’m privileged to hear them, usually on a daily basis. I throw open the windows so their song is more audible. Their songs resonate deeply in my soul. These are all part of the canine family and have similar traits since our dogs descended from wolves say the scientists.

Wolves have one alpha or primary female leader and one alpha or male leader in their group. The alpha female and male lead the pack in all major family decisions. Wolves have got it right! They know it takes the energy balance of a female and a male perspective on decision making in a family unit. Where are we going to go for supper tonight? What neighborhood are we going to explore next? When are we going to move to a new location? How are we going to bring down that deer? The leaders in the family do NOT look to their children to tell them what to do and how to live their lives. In other words the leaders are in control. The pack is reliant on the alpha leaders experience and wisdom to keep them alive in their world.

Wolves are loyal and honest with other members of the pack. When there is a disagreement, they don’t disappear alone sulking into the forest. That’s animal suicide. Instead there is a sharp nip on the flank or on the nose to bring the offending behavior into alignment with what is acceptable to that wolf pack. They might be chased to a section of the woods and are told to cool their jets for awhile and think about their behavior. In effect they are given a time-out by the pack. Sometimes we have to do that with the members of our wolf pack. Explain why the behavior is not acceptable and give the offender a time-out to think about why he or she is not welcome to hang out with the family until that person chooses to change his or her behavior. To ignore unacceptable or poor behavior weakens your entire pack.

Often in wolf packs, the yearling uncles and aunts look after the new pup litter that is born each year. They will babysit while the alpha pair is making the living leading the pack. Each member of the pack has an equal share in raising the kids. Wolves were the originators of the term “It takes a community to raise a young pup”. The parents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins are involved equally in child rearing. That way the wolf cubs consistently understand the guiding principles under which their family operates.

So you aren’t living near your own family to have this happen? Every place you live become part of an extended family. In essence this becomes part of your wolf pack in the neighborhood in which you life. Ensure there is an older alpha female and alpha male whom you can turn to for wise advice in living a purposeful life. Ensure there are truly honest and loyal friends who won’t lead you astray. For heaven sakes nip that child on the nose within 10 seconds of their misbehaving so the child will understand which behavior is not appropriate for the pack! The children need be told that to survive in the world you have to be respectful of all others who live in the forest with them.

Who are the alpha female and the alpha male in your family? They are not necessarily the oldest, but they have earned the right by being the wisest in terms of life experiences and survival. I have a serious disconnect with families where the kids under the age of 30 are leading the pack. Kids lack life experience for knowing what is best for the family and for themselves. So why would any wolf pack give the kids the power to run the show for the family unit? Who is leading your family pack?